Getting Out of the Driver's Seat

Matt and I are so thankful to be a part of a small group from church.  They welcomed us into their already established group and we've felt like we belong right from the start.  Great feeling!

Last night we were discussing the message from Sunday's service, which focused on the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15: 11-27).  At one point, our discussion focused on something that I have really been struggling with for pretty much my whole life.... the need to be in control.  Feeling a sense of control makes me feel safe and comfortable.  Being at the mercy of someone/something else, causes major anxiety for me.  An example from years ago that applies is this~ when we still had our cottage, I spent a lot of time out on our Sea-Doo.  I was fearless and loved being the driver.  As soon as I was moved to the back, however, and had to hang on to that strap or the lifejacket in front of me for dear life, I was filled with anxiety and hated being out on the lake.  No matter the driver, I never felt safe or comfortable being in the passenger seat.

Our discussion last night was so timely.  Just hours before Matt and I headed over to our friend's house, I had been talking to one of my best friends about our shared need to be in control.  Being teachers, we are used to spending our whole day trying to gain control of our students ("trying" is the key word for me this year as this is not easy with this group like it has been in the years before!).  I come home and continue to feel the need to be in charge, to have things planned, to have things go my way, to be in the driver's seat.

I have come to realize that this isn't the best way to live; it is often the moments when I relinquish control that end up being the best moments of my life.  So... I need to remember to move over, let someone else drive from time to time, and realize and accept that it is God who is in control.  When I'm able to do and make peace with this, big things will happen in my life.